When Trauma Enters the Counselling Room: Looking Beyond the Presenting Issue

Clients do not always enter counselling saying, “I have experienced trauma.”

They may seek support because they are experiencing anxiety, low mood, difficulties in relationships, poor self-esteem, emotional overwhelm or a sense of feeling disconnected from themselves and others.

Sometimes, the presenting issue may only be one part of a much wider story.

For counsellors, working in a trauma-informed way does not mean assuming that every client has experienced trauma or searching for experiences that have not been disclosed. It means remaining curious about what may sit beneath a client’s responses while recognising that behaviours often develop for a reason.

Looking Beyond “What Is Wrong?”

A trauma-informed approach encourages us to move away from asking:

“What is wrong with this person?”

and towards considering:

“What may have happened to this person, and how have they learned to survive?”

A client who finds it difficult to trust may have learned that relationships are unsafe or unpredictable.

Someone who avoids difficult conversations may have experienced conflict as threatening.

A client who regularly puts the needs of others before their own may have learned that keeping others happy helped them feel safer.

These responses may now create difficulties, but they may once have played an important role in helping the person cope.

Trauma Does Not Always Look Like Distress

Trauma responses are not always immediately visible.

Some clients may appear confident, successful and capable while experiencing anxiety, shame or emotional distress internally. Others may use humour, remain constantly busy or focus on caring for everyone around them.

Trauma may also be reflected in:

• Difficulty trusting others

• People-pleasing

• Perfectionism

• Emotional numbness or disconnection

• Difficulty setting boundaries

• A strong need for control

• Fear of rejection or abandonment

• Feeling constantly alert to possible danger

Recognising these responses does not mean labelling or diagnosing the client. It means remaining open to understanding the meaning and purpose behind them.

Safety Before Exploration

Counsellors may feel pressure to help clients explore painful experiences. However, moving too quickly can leave a client feeling overwhelmed or unsafe.

Trauma-informed practice places emotional and relational safety at the centre of the work.

Before exploring difficult experiences, it may be important to develop trust, understand the client’s coping strategies and support their ability to remain emotionally present.

The therapeutic relationship can offer consistency, choice and collaboration. These experiences may be particularly meaningful for clients whose boundaries, trust or sense of control have previously been affected.

The Importance of the Counsellor’s Awareness

Trauma work can also affect the counsellor.

We may feel protective, overwhelmed, uncertain or eager to help. At times, we may notice a desire to move the work forward or relieve the client’s distress.

Self-awareness, supervision and ongoing professional development provide space to reflect on these responses and consider how they may influence the therapeutic relationship.

Developing Trauma-Informed Practice

Being trauma-informed is not about having all the answers.

It is about approaching clients with curiosity rather than judgement, recognising the possible purpose behind their responses and creating a therapeutic relationship built around safety, trust, choice and collaboration.

Sometimes, the most important question is not:

“How do we change this response?”

but:

“What helped this response develop, and what has it helped the client survive?”

At L&M Trauma Informed Counselling Training, we support counsellors and trainees to develop greater confidence and understanding when working with trauma, while keeping the therapeutic relationship at the heart of practice. Contact us to learn more about upcoming training opportunities. info@lmcounsellingtraining.co.uk

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